


Of Durins and Broadbeams

by themutesinger



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bag End is Bilbo's family's pub, F/M, Freya and Bilbo are besties, Gratuitous use of music, M/M, Mentions of abusive relationships and stalking, Not Canon Compliant, some rude language/swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2485115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themutesinger/pseuds/themutesinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bag End was nothing like the usual high end ultra-modern places Thorin Durin usually went to. It was rather small and homey with a welcoming green door and an old- fashioned tavern-style feeling. That being said, it was understandable why Thorin's nephews were extremely confused and looked quite lost.<br/>" Can I help you boys with something?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Puzzles of Bag End

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm extremely nervous about this... It's my first time posting a fan fiction rather than just writing them in my head. I hope it's not too horrible and you enjoy it :)

       Bag End was nothing like the usual high end ultra-modern places Thorin Durin usually went to. It was rather small and homey with a welcoming green door and an old- fashioned tavern-style feeling. Along the left wall was the bar, made of polished cherry wood with a semi-modern granite countertop, the barstools nothing more than metal and red leather. littered around the pub are small tables made of darkened oak with matching chairs, upholstered in red suede. There are numerous photographs littering the walls, depicting the pub at various stages in it's history, and a few of a beautiful woman in pin-up. A corkboard on the left wall is full of newspaper clippings, a couple of cut-out advertisements for a place called Gandalf's, in which a man and a woman modelled in various states of dress and undress, as well as the poster for an indie band called ' _Half- Hipster on a Murderous Rampage'_. Overall, the most remarkable thing in the space is the stage set along the black wall made of the same cherry as the bar, set up with a lovely acoustic guitar, one of the barstools and a microphone. That being said, it was understandable why Thorin's nephews were extremely confused and looked quite lost.

"Can I help you boys with something?"

 .    Both boys turned rather suddenly at the sound of the voice and were met with a young woman leaning against the bar, outfitted in a blue corset overlain with sheer black lace, trimmed with leather and set with a black bow in the centre of the sweetheart neckline. The rest of her was covered in leather, from her black pants to her mid-calf length, well-worn combat boots. Her long curly mahogany hair was dyed a dark purple at the tips and was held back on one side by a glittery black barrette. After staring speechless for a minute or two, the blond of the duo snapped out of his daze and said, " Yes, we're meeting our Uncle here for dinner with his new boyfriend, Bilbo, I think?"

" I see. Oi, Baggins! Your in-laws are here to see you!", the woman yelled into a door beind the bar. "He'll be out soon, he's probably just doing some paperwork. Can I get you anything to drink while you're waiting?"

" Two Guinesses please. I'm Fili and this is Kili." said the blond, stunned into forgetting the brother's customary and rather cheeky introduction. The woman poured the drinks and urged them to sit while leaning on her elbows on the bar's counter.

" Freya Broadbeam, best friend to one Bilbo Baggins and co-owner of Bag End, as well as head barkeep, " she said with a wink. " I met your uncle last week, charming fellow, but he could do with a lesson in not opening the door in nothing but his pants. Not that it was a bad eyefull of course, it's just not necessary to know when your best friend's been shagging someone, you know?"

" Uncle Thorin actually opened the door in his pants!?," shrieked Kili. " Oh my god, I'm definately going to have to use that as blackmail."

" Like he doesn't have a hundred things worse to blackmail you with Kili, he did practically raise us. And now I have the horrifying knowledge that Uncle shagged Bilbo, thanks for that Freya."

" You're very welcome," she replied winking. The bell at the door tinkled, bringing with it an odd man in a worn brown trappers hat and colourful scarf, his hair tied back in a long braid over his shoulder, his moustache shaved into two long strands on either side of his mouth. " Hey Pop! What are you doing here so early?"

       The man heaved a sigh, and sat down next to Kili at the bar. " Hello darlin'. I just had to close up early is all, it's nothin' to fuss over." Freya hands him a pint of Guiness and looks him over appraisingly before hopping out from behind the bar and into the kitchen yelling, " Uncle Bom I need one of those pies!" She returns five minutes later with a steaming hot chicken pot pie, it's crust golden and flaky and a small bowl of thick brown gravy.

" Here ya go Pop, Uncle Bom says you're to eat it all, or else he's gonna come in here and whack you." she says while laying out his food and pecking him on the cheek. " Now, what's wrong, and don't think you can trick your way out of telling me. Is it the store? Or is it Da again?".

" I'm alright darlin', it's jus', you know how it is with yer Da, we barely see each other and when we do see each other we fight. It's hard to deal with is all luv." Fili and Kili awkwardly sip their beers, trying not to listen in on their conversation.

" Well Pop, I think you and Da just need to get away for a while, take a vacation. Don't give me that look! Uncle Bif can take care of the toystore for you as long as I check in on him everyday and Uncle Dori already runs the club more than Da does so it'll be fine. Just think about it, alright?"

" I'll think about it darlin', but I doubt you'll be able to convine yer Da of anything."

" You underestimate my skills of persuasion Pop, and how much Da is wrapped around my finger", she says with a somewhat terrifying mischievious grin. She turns back to Fili and Kili as her dad starts in on his pie and beer, giving him a break from her grilling.

" You lads alright? need more beer?"

" Nah, we're good. That's your father?", asks Fili hesitantly.

" Yeah, him and my Da adopted me when I was five. He owns a toystore which made for a rather incredible childhood, believe me. Oi Pop, have you met Fili and Kili? They're Bilbo's boyfriend's nephews."

" Can't say I have. Bofur Broadbeam, at yer service."

" Fili and Kili Durin at yours," they chimed in unison, causing Freya to burst out laughing.

" You used to rehearse that when you were kids didn't you?", she asked, still snickering.

" How dare you accuse us of such a thing Madam?", Kili exclaimed, faking indignation. About ten minutes later, after jokes were exchanged and Bofur was in the middle of a rather innappropriate story about his time in college, Bilbo finally came out of his office.

" What's going on out here?"

       Fili and Kili turn around immediately, desperate to see the man that captured their Uncle's attention. The sight that greets them, however leaves them puzzled. The man is short, very short, maybe 5'3 at most. He's quite pale and average looking with a button nose and hazel eyes. His most striking feature is probably his reddish-gold riotously curly hair. All-in-all he seems boring, from his frumpy grey cardigan to his worn brown loafers, looking more like a stuffy english professor then the owner of a pub.

" Finally decided to grace us with your presence have you?" 


	2. Everything You Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo is a sassy little fussbucket, Thorin is late and wearing clothes, and Freya sings! Plus bonus Legolas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I was encouraged by the response to my first chapter so I turned into a busy bee and got the second chapter ready for you! The title of this chapter is taken from the song Freya sings, Everything you Want by Vertical Horizon. Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any songs used in this fic ( unless I specify that I wrote them) nor do I own the rights to the Hobbit and I therefore am not making any money off of this fic. Now that that's out of the way, enjoy!

_" Finally decided to grace us with your presence have you?"_

 The small man turns and narrows his eyes at Freya's saucy quip.

" I'd like to see you try and run the restaurant _and_  find time to socialize, little princess. There's paperwork to file, orders to fill out, people to call, books to balance, in comparison your job is rather menial. And another thing-," he stops mid-rant as he notices Fili and Kili looking at him with twin mischeivious smirks. " Oh dear! How rude of me, you must be-"

"Fili-"

"And Kili-"

"At your service!," they finish with a bow and beaming smiles.

Bilbo's cheeks redden slightly, and he starts to splutter uselessly before settling with, "Oh, yes of course, and I'm-"

" Bilbo Boggins! We know," chimes Kili with a wink.

" It's, ah, Baggins actually, now where is Thorin, he should be here by now...", Bilbo says, trailing off and muttering things about a 'man who could get lost on his way out the door'. At a clinking of a plate, he jumps, then blushes adorably in embarrassment, before turning to look at Bofur, whom he hadn't noticed yet.

" Oh hello Bofur! I didn't quite see you there. In for your free Saturday pie?"

" And to see me daughter, as always! Well I'll be off now, nice seeing you Bilbo, and nice meeting you lads!" Bofur says, leaning over the bar to kiss Freya's forehead. " Bye luv, see you tomorrow."

" Bye Pop! Don't forget to talk to Da about that vacation!", Freya calls as he exits the store. Bilbo, who is flustered again at Bofur's seemingly abrupt departure, looks over Freya's outfit, then suddenly grins. " So, I take it you're making use of the open mic then?"

" So long as the patrons aren't sick of hearing my voice after last night!"

" Why, what was last night?" Kili asks.

" Well every Friday, Freya's band plays here. It helps them get publicity and what not," replies Bilbo.

Kili turns to Freya in somewhat manic excitement, " No way! You have a band?! What's it called? Do you have a record label yet? What do you play?"

" Woah! How the hell do you talk that fast? Anyways, we're Half- Hipster on a Murderous Rampage, Legolas' dad owns a record label and he signed us after we made our first demo and he realized his son was actually serious about music. I'm the official lead singer, though Legolas takes the lead on some tracks. I also play keyboard, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, violin, synthesizer, bass, and tambourine. Oh! And I can use a portable voice modifier."

Fili and Kili both look at her open-mouthed with awe. " What? I had a lot of spare time as a kid and I filled it with music..."

" Close your mouths boys, you'll catch flies," says Bilbo.

" Yes Uncle Bilbo!" both boys chime, smiling rather devilishly. Bilbo turns an alarming yet somehow still adorable shade of red and proceeds to splutter and pick at his clothes. Fili and Kili look at each other contemplatively. Fussy, somewhat sassy, a work-a-holic, and adorable when flustered; perhaps Bilbo was their Uncle's type after all.

" Please tell me you two haven't already broken my boyfriend."

" Uncle Thorin!," Kili cries, while rushing over to hug him. " Fili and I are just getting to know our new Uncle. And his friend, Freya."

" Your new Uncle?," Thorin says, slightly blushing.

" Well, he does make you smile a lot more, which is an improvement over your usual scowl-," says Fili causing Thorin to emulate said scowl.

" And he's adorable and fussy, so he's perfect for you!" finishes Kili with a broad smirk. Thorin growls a little, opening his mouth to say something when-

" Fussy!?!" Bilbo exclaimed with eyes narrowed and cheeks red. " I am not fussy!"

Momentarily tuning out the boys and Bilbo's arguement about his fussiness (completely true by the way), Freya turns to Thorin, " Hello Thorin! Lovely to see you in actual clothing."

Thorin's cheeks momentarily darken before he replies, " Yeah, I'm really sorry about that, again."

" Think nothing of it, you weren't so bad to look at," she says winking and making Thorin splutter in embarrassment. " Well I'll leave you to sort this lot out, I'm opening the mic tonight." She then scampers off to the stage and beams out at the patrons of the pub. " Hello everyone! I'm going to start off the open mic tonight, if that's alright with you lot?"

" Any time Miss Freya!", came a voice from somewhere in the now dimmed pub.

" Alright, so tonight I'm going to be singing a song called Everything you Want, hope you like it!"

She sits on the stool and picks up the alderwood acoustic guitar, and begins a riff of finger picking before solidly strumming out the strong melody of the song.

_Somewhere there's speaking, It's already coming in._

_Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind._

_You never could get it,unless you were fed it,_

_Now you're here and you don't know why._

 

_But under skinned knees and the skid marks_

_Past the places where you used to learn._

_You howl and listen, Listen and wait for the_

_Echoes of angels who won't return ._

 

_She's everything you want,_

_she's everything you need._

_She's everything inside of you_

_that you wish you could be._

_She says all the right things,_

_at exactly the right time._

_but she means nothing to you,_

_and you don't know why._

 

_You're waiting for someone to put you together,_

_You're waiting for someone to push you away._

_There's always another wound to discover,_

_There's always something more you wish she'd say._

 

_She's everything you want,_

_She's everything you need._

_She's everything inside of you,_

_that you wish you could be._

_She says all the right things,_

_at exactly the right time._

_But she means nothing to you,_

_and you don't know why._

_But you just sit tight, and watch it unwind._

 

_It's only what you're asking for._

_And you'll be just fine, with all of your time._

_It's only what you're waiting for._

 

_Out of the island, and into the highway._

_Past the places that you might have turned._

_you never did notice, but you still hide away._

_The anger of angels who won't return._

 

_She's everything you want,_

_she's everything you need._

_She's everything inside of you,_

_that you wish you could be._

_She says all the right things,_

_at exactly the right time._

_But she means nothing to you,_

_and you don't know why._

 

_I am everything you want,_

_I am everything you need._

_I am everything inside of you,_

_that you wish you could be._

_I say all the right things,_

_at exactly the right time._

_But I mean nothing to you,_

_and I don't know why._

_And I don't know why._

_Why._

_And I wish I could know why._

Freya's voice is high and pleasant while maintaining a pleasing gravelly Kurt Cobainesque roughness. All three Durins are staring at her with shocked amazement, while Bilbo just grins in a highly superior and knowing manner. The Pub errupts into merry applause, and Freya takes a quick bow, opening the mic to anyone else that wants it and sedately making her way back to the bar.

" She's quite astounding isn't she?" says a soft, lilting voice. All four men at the bar turn to face a grinning man, his white-blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, his clothes an earthy and pleasing combination of greens and browns.

" Who the hell are you?," asks Kili. His question is answered a moment later by Freya, calling out his name:

" Legolas!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two little side notes! 1. Bilbo and Thorin have been dating for a few months already by the time this meeting happens. He just didn't introduce the boys to Bilbo because he wanted Bilbo to stay sane. 2. I'd like to give the ages I imagine the characters as : Bilbo-28, Freya-22, Fili-22, Kili-19, Thorin-35, Bofur/Nori-42, Dori/Balin-49, Bifur-48, Bombur-38, Dwalin-36, Ori-28, Frodo-2 1/2, Dis-42, Legolas- 23, Elrohir/Elladan-22, Gandalf- not specified as his mysteriousness requires. If you have any questions about the story or have any pointers for mistakes I may have made, feel free to leave a comment :) ( just remember to be appropriate and respectful please) See you next chapter!


	3. Strange Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo deals with scowly Thorin, Legolas is dating who???, awkward Durins, and that escalated quickly...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! Wasn't sure how to continue after chapter two for a while, but I was struck by inspiration today! So here's chapter three! Thorin is less of an adorable awkward duckling in this, and Bilbo knows exactly how to handle his moods. Enjoy!

_"Legolas!"_

         After some rather prompt introductions to Legolas made by Freya, a significant amount of scowling from both Thorin and Kili, and a rather quick greeting exchanged between Legolas and Bilbo ( old friends and such), the Durin boys were dragged rather pointedly away by Bilbo. Freya waved and called out a cheery goodbye before giving instructions to her newly arrived replacement at the bar and dragging Legolas upstairs toone of the three flats above the pub.

                                     .~~~~~~.

"Uncle Bilbo?," said a still scowling Kili.

" Yes dear?"

"Are Legolas and Freya dating?"

"Oh goodness no! They just have to meet today about the photo shoot for their first album as well as the filming of their music video tomorrow. Legolas is with some lovely red-haired lass, Tauriel, I think," replies Bilbo, frowning as he puzzles out her name. " Why?"

"Umm... No reason Uncle Bilbo!", Kili says, looking much brighter. They order and begin eating, Bilbo and the lads chatting merrily, until Bilbo notices Thorin scowling into his pasta.

" Who's kicked your puppy Thorin?" he asks.

 Thorin looks up scowling even more ( seriously, this man has scowling down to an art form), " I didn't know you associated with the Greenleaf family."

Bilbo begins to frown deeply, " I don't see why that's an issue. Legolas is a charming and kind lad, as well as a good friend and his father gave Freya's band their recording contract. I have no reason not to 'associate' with them."

" About ten years ago, Erebor almost went bankrupt because a man named Smaug -Bilbo gasps at this- tried to claim fraud against us. I turned to Thranduil Greenleaf for aid and he turned me away. That is why I cannot tolerate the Greenleaf family," said Thorin , his eyes becoming distant, deep lines wrinkling his brow.

"Well, while I can understand why you dislike Thranduil, you cannot blame Legolas for his father's actions. And I'm sure that Thranduil had his reasons for saying no,even if he did not feel inclined to share them. Did you say Smaug?"

" Yes, why? Do you know him?", asks Thorin roughly.

" I dated him , years ago now... Until he tried to take my home and pub away right under my nose," Bilbo says, his voice filled with a surprising amount of venom. Thorin's frown takes on a new kind of weariness and worry and Fili and Kili take the opportunity to escape.

" Well Uncles, it looks like you need to talk so well just get out of your hair, mum might be getting worried, and such things, " Fili says, inching away.

" Goodbye Uncle Thorin, New Uncle Bilbo, " they say in unison, before rushing out the door.

Bilbo raises a bemused eyebrow and looks at Thorin, " Interesting lads you have Thorin. I think I'll rather enjoy being their uncle."

Thorin finally stops scowling and smiles rather bashfully at this statement, taking Bilbo's small hands in his. " I rather like the sound of that."

" Shall we go up to my flat?" Bilbo asks, with a smile full of promise.

" Lead on Little One, although we still need to talk later." Bilbo scoffs at this and smacks his arm.

" Of course, Daft Man." Thorin smiles at the strange endearment and links his fingers with Bilbo's as they make their way upstairs. The first flat they pass is full of the sound of animals- mostly small birds, dogs and cats- the door painted brown, the name Beorn Ponese written above the door bell. The second flat they pass has a purple door and the sounds of guitars, soft singing and laughter, the name Freya Broadbeam written in silver marker above an ornate gothic door knocker. They finally reach the top flat, the door the same emerald green as the door to Bag End, the name Bilbo Baggins written in curly gold script above the elegant brass door knocker. Both men enter the flat, closing the door behind them as they head to Bilbo's bedroom, eager to add to the noise of the stairwell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Erebor is the Durin family accounting company. Smaug is a business man that gains money off of swallowing up small businesses and bankrupting others. Why was our adorable sassy little Bilbo with Smaug? Good question. Thorin will find out for us next chapter ;)


	4. Fake Tales and Making Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili get to see their first ' Half-Hipster on a Murderous Rampage' show at Bag- End , plus a little fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not updating, no WiFi or data :( Here's Chapter four though, hope you like it! Also I recently made a playlist for this fic and two of my other fics on YouTube, my username is Ainsley Barclay :)

      The next Friday saw the Durin brothers again at Bag End, at around 7:30. It was raining heavily and the brothers paid no attention to the sign in the window, preferring to get inside as soon as possible. After shrugging off wet trench coats they headed over to the bar, and instead of being greeted by Freya, they were met by a cheerful young man with close-shaven ginger hair and a stubbly beard. " Hello lads, what can I get for ya?", the man said, smiling almost shyly.

" A couple of guinesses please," says Fili. "Would you happen to know where the girl who usually works here is?" The ginger pours the beers, hands it to them, then leans against the counter.

" She's over there on the stage, setting up. Her band plays here every Friday," the man answers. "What's it to ya?"

" She's a friend of ours and we were just curious about where she was is all," Kili says, before inclining his head at the man and running off to say hi to Freya, who greets him with a hug.

"Thanks mate," Fili says before following his brother, also getting a hug.

" Hello you two. Came to see me play?" Freya asks. She's wearing a black leather corset today, with lacing up either side, a wide collar and a deep v-neckline accenting her rather ample cleavage, her skinny jeans are dark-washed and instead of comfortably worn combat boots, she wears stiletto ankle boots, the heel covered in small silver spikes.

" Uh, just came to see you actually, but hearing you play is definately a bonus, " Kili says with a wide grin and a wink.

" I'm delighted you enjoy my company so much," she says, lifting a cherry red sunburst-style electric guitar out of its case and placing it on a stand by a synthesizer/keyboard and a large amp. Behind her a dark-haired man in a very colourful beanie sets up a lovely electric blue drum kit, whilst another man, identical to the first, sets up a black bass with a white pick-gaurd. " Wanna meet the rest of the band?"

" Sure," says Fili, casting an appreciative glance at the bass. Freya whistles, drawing the attention of the two men.

" Ro, Dan, these are Bilbo's newest family members, Kili and Fili. Kili and Fili, these are my mates Elrohir and Elladan, although everyone just calls them Ro and Dan," Freya says." Only way to tell 'em apart is their hair. Ro has a ponytail, Dan has a buzz-cut, not like you can tell with that god-awful hat he's wearing."

" Well, the producers like the god-awful hat, fits my image," Dan says, rolling his eyes.

" Well, they have it right if your image makes people wanna puke," Ro says, winking, before Dan grabs him in a headlock and ruffles his hair.

" I swear you two are overgrown children," Freya says. " Any idea where Leggles is?"

" Naw, he'll be here soon though, never misses a show without warning," Ro replies from under his twin's arm. Freya seperates the two, tutting.

" Alright, stop faffing around you two and finish setting up." They roll their eyes at her, but comply quickly enough, pulling a couple of amps on stage and setting up a couple of power bars for everything to plug into. Freya attaches a microphone to the keyboard, then starts assembling a second one to the left of the stage. " You two planning on staying the whole set?"she asks Fili and Kili.

" Yeah, of course!" Kili says," When do you start?"

" Eight, and we play until ten, ten thirty"

" Yeah, we can stay til then," says Fili. " Why was the bartender so suspicious when we asked where you were? It was kinda odd."

"Uncle Ori? Just being protective I guess, he's not even half as bad as Uncle Dori though, that man could mother-hen even the burliest biker to death. All my Uncles are kinda protective of me."

" That's your Uncle? But he's so young!" says Kili.

" He's about the same age as Bilbo actually. My dads adopted me when they were pretty young."

" How old's Uncle Bilbo?" asks Fili.

" Twenty-eight, why?"

" Uncle Thorin's 35," muses Kili.

" That's nice? So seven year difference, it's not that bad," says Freya.

" Yeah, I guess it's just weird to think about. Speaking of Uncle Bilbo, where is he?" asks Fili, looking around the Pub.

" No idea, oh, there's Legolas! Why don't you two go find him while we finish setting up?" says Freya, frantically waving at Legolas.

" Alright," Kili says, slightly disappointed. Fili takes his arm and pulls him in the direction of the bar. When they get there they drop off their empty glasses and knock on the counter to get Ori's attention.

" Excuse me, but do you know where Bilbo is?" asks Fili.

" Probably in the backroom but I don't think you're allowed back there lads," says Ori, narrowing his eyes.

" I'm sure Uncle Bilbo won't mind, " says Kili, eyes glittering innocently, heading to knock on the door to Bilbo's office. After a few minutes of repeated musical knocking the door opens to reveal a slightly irate Bilbo.

" What do you want?!" he says, rubbing at red, sleep swollen eyes.

" We just wanted to say hi Uncle Bilbo," says Kili, doing his best kicked-puppy impersonation. Bilbo visibly deflates and pulls Kili into a hug.

" Sorry Ki, I was just having a bit of a nap and I'm not having the best day, I didn't mean to shout at you."

" That's okay Uncle Bilbo!"

"Hi Fi," Bilbo says, pulling Fili into the hug as well," Oh, hello Ori, what are you doing here?"

" It's Friday Bo, I'm always here Fridays," says Ori patiently.

" Oh dear! Confusticate this week! I'll be forgetting my name next I expect."

" Why don't you come sit down with us and get some food Uncle Bilbo? Freya's band will be playing soon, you can watch with us!" says Kili, slinging an arm around Bilbo's shoulders.

" Yes, I suppose that sounds good, see you later Ori," Bilbo says, waving tiredly at Ori as Kili and Fili lead him to a table near the stage. As soon as they sit down with a menu, Freya and her band come on stage.

" Good evening everyone! today we're going to start off with a cover of the song ' Fake Tales of San Fransisco' by the Arctic Monkeys, hope you like it!," says Freya, strapping her guitar on at the same time as Legolas, stepping in front of her keyboard and beginning a steady strum after the drum kicks in.

(Bold text indicates all band members are siging at the same time)

_Fake tales of San Francisco echo through the room_

_More point to a wedding disco without a bride or groom_

_There's a super cool band, yeah, with their Trilbies_

_And their glasses of white wine, and all the weekend Rockstars_

_In the toilets, practicing their lines._

_I don't want to hear you_

  **Kick me out, kick me out.**

_I don't want to hear, you know_

**Kick me out, kick me out**

_I don't want to hear you_

**Kick me out, kick me out**

_I dont't want to hear you, don't want to hear your-_

_Fake tales of San Francisco echo through the air_

_And there's a few bored faces in the back, all wishing they weren't there_

_And as the microphne squeaks a young girl's telephone beeps,_

_Yeah she's dashing for the exit, oh she's running to the streets outside._

_Oh you've saved me, she screams down the line._

_The band weren't very good and I'm not having a nice time._

_I don't want to hear you_

**Kick me out, kick me out.**

_I don't want to hear you know_ ,

  **Kick me out, kick me out.**

_Yeah but his bird thinks it's amazing, though_

_So all that's left, is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf._

_He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunter's bar_

_I don't quite know the distance but I'm sure that's far,_

_Yeah, I'm sure that's pretty far._

_And yeah I'd love to tell you all my problem,_

_You're not from New York City, You're from Rotherham._

_So get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook_

_Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah._

_Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook,_

_Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook,_

_Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook,_

_Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook,_

_Yeah._

(Instrumental playout)

The set continues as scheduled, Bilbo sneaking some steak inbetween, " Before we were cool" and " New Age Sleeping Song". The band finishes with a fantastic cover of "We're All in This Together" by Sam Roberts Band, closing off a great set. Fili leaves soon after the set is finished, making excuses about an essay, and Bilbo goes to bed with a headache, leaving Kili alone.

" You alright Kili?" asks Freya, walking over from the stage, sipping a bottle of water.

"My brother ditched me and now I don't have a ride home," he replies morosely.

" I could drive you in Bessie! Let me just grab my keys and we'll go!" Freya jogs to the stairwell leading to the apartments, and goes to her apartment to grab the keys. After asking Ori to close down for the night, Freya takes Kili out a back door into a small private parking space and to a large construction van painted a dark purple, with the band's name spray-painted onto the side doors in silver. " Here she is, Bessie, our gear slugger!" says Freya with an exaggerated flourish.

" Not bad, at least it's not orange or something." says Kili.

" Ro wanted to paint it orange, but we wouldn't let him," Freya says with a laugh. They hop in and fifteen minutes and a decent conversation later they arrive in front of a lovely Victorian Era townhouse. " Nice place"

" Yeah, it's my mum's, just living with her for a bit til I finish school or get tired of her, or something'" Kili says.

"That's nice. So, I'll see around?"

" Yeah. About that, would you maybe want to go see a movie or something next saturday?"

" Sounds good! Will Fili be coming too?"

" Um, no, he's busy, so it'll just be you and me, if that's alright?"

" It's perfect, Freya says with a wink. " See ya later then"

" See ya!"

Freya drives off, leaving Kili smiling stupidly in the driveway, before he runs inside, doing a happy dance on the welcome mat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it appears that I let this run away from me and did not in fact explain why Bilbo would ever give Smaug the time of day... I suppose I'll have to explain after Kili and Freya have their first date!


	5. Two Tickets For the Start of Something Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Freya first date fluff with a little shovel talk from Uncle Bombur on the side :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm terribly sorry for being a horrible updater but I've been super busy lately what with Christmas and going to Panama for a wedding and all! So, I'm completely unprepared for the upcoming typhoon of feels coming my way with the release of The Battle of the Five Armies, but who is? I'm both excited and incredibly nervous and emotional... Anyways enjoy some fluff before the movie murders your heart violently :)

       Kili stopped in front of the mirror in the front hall to make sure he didn't look like a complete idiot. He smoothed his sweaty palms over his dark-washed boot cut jeans, rolled up the sleeves on the dark-blue button up and slipped his feet into tastefully worn Doc Martin's. " Don't forget a jacket it's cool out tonight!" Kili's mother, Dis called from the kitchen. " Have fun and be the gentleman I know I raised you to be. And I want to meet this girl at some point!"

       " Okay mom!" Kili said, pulling on a charcoal grey bomber jacket. " I'll be an angel, and you'll meet her next week when we go have dinner at Bilbo's. Bye mum!" His mother sings out her own goodbye with a warning not to scratch the car and blows him a kiss from the doorway. He grabs the keys off the hook, and leaves the house walking down the driveway to the Robin's egg blue 1965 Ford Mustang Coupe. He drives over to Bag End and parks in the back. The pub is decently packed today , the din of customers comforting. Kili spots Freya talking to a rather large ginger man with an impressive beard and cheerful disposition. Freya is as beautiful as always, wearing a black corset so heavily embroidered it seems to glow an ethereal emerald green under the lights, her long legs accented in black skinny jeans tucked into her signature combat boots, topped off with a black leather jacket. 

" Kili!" Freya exclaims, skipping over for a hug. " Hello there! Come meet Uncle Bom!" 

"Hey! Umm, alright!" Freya grabs his hand and pulls him over.

" Kili, Uncle Bom, Uncle Bombur, Kili!" 

" It's nice to meet you sir."

" Aye, lad it's nice to meet you too. As long as you keep your intentions towards my niece pure that is. I happen to be rather skilled with a butcher's knife if not."

Kili shuffles awkwardly," Understood sir, I only have the best of intentions. I mean, Freya is one of my best friends and I wouldn't want to hurt her or-"

" Peace lad, as long as we're on the same page." Freya just rolls her eyes.

" Alright Uncle Bom, I think you've done Pop's job for him perfectly, we'll just be going now, love you, bye!" Freya leads Kili off again by the hand with a brief wave at her Uncle.

" Bye darlin'. You treat her good boy!"

" Sorry 'bout that mate, my Pop asked him to shovel talk you for him, drama king that he is."

" Oh, it's not a problem, really. Did he mean what he said about the knives?"

" Probably. So where are ya taking me dear?"

Kili blushes a bit at the term of endearment, and walks with her to the back. " I was thinking the movies, I'm sure there's something good out at the mo!" 

" Perfect! Fair warning though, I'm a bit of a movie-theater popcorn fiend, you won't be getting much of it," Freya says with a smirk. Her eyes widen at the sight of the car. " Holy crap is that a '65 in perfect condition? Is it yours?" 

" Yes to the first, no to the second. It's mum's. My Uncle Dwalin used to do specialty car detailing back in the day and fixed up our grandad's car for her."

" It's beautiful!"

Kili smiles and opens her door for her, earning a smile and raised eyebrow, before getting in and starting the car. When they get to the theater they find out they're having a 90s movie month and the next movie they're playing is "Life is Beautiful". So they pay for the tickets and buy popcorn and some Crunchie© bars with iced teas then settle in comfy reclining chairs in a smaller theatre. 

" Hey look the arm thingies move!" Kili says, playing with the armrest. Freya giggles at him and pops a handful of popcorn into her mouth. The theater dims shortly afterwards and the movie begins without previews. About halfway through the movie Kili winds up with Freya's fingers entangled with his own, resting on the armrest between them. The end of the movie results in tears and the offering of a gentlemanly handkerchief ( totally not lent to Kili by Bilbo). 

Kili and Freya head back to Bag End for coffee after the movie , discussing everything from their favorite parts of the movie to who gets to take the leftover treats home.

" I think I should take them, Crunchies© are Bilbo's favorite!" Freya says, poking Kili's arm. 

" As long as I get the popcorn for my mum," Kili shoots back with a wink.

Freya rolls her eyes and reluctantly agrees. When they get to Bag End Freya makes coffee in the back learning that Kili likes his loaded with milk and sugar while she prefers hers with a bit of milk and one spoon of sugar. 

" I had a lot of fun Kili, " Freya says, taking his hand across the table. Kili smiles softly and rubs a thumb over the back of her hand.

" Me too. Would you maybe want to do it again sometime?"

" Of course, except next time I pick the place. And we take my bike," she replies winking.

" You ride a motorbike?" 

"Yep! Can't take the promotion-mobile everywhere ya know!"

" Right, right. I guess I'll see myself out then, I got school work to get doing."

" Alright. See you next week then dear," Freya says, pecking him lightly on the corner of his mouth and squeezing his hand before picking up the coffee cups and heading to the kitchen.

" See you next week!" He replies, smiling like the hopeless idiot he is all the way home. 

                                  .~~~~~~~~.

" I take it your date went well then little brother?" Fili asks, smirking at his brother's idiotic smile.

"Yeah," Kili says dreamily, tossing the keys on the counter and heading slowly up to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Life is Beautiful" is a gorgeous movie and I love it even though it makes me cry, highly recommend watching it though! As a bit of a side note I'm using the British form of favorite rather than the Canadian favourite cuz the characters are supposed to be in London :) Also I now have two of my fanfictions, including this one outlined to the end, yay me!


	6. Dinner with the Durins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Durins pop over to Bilbo's for dinner with Bilbo and Freya, and end up drawn into a small party in the pub courtesy of Bofur and fiddles!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, finally updating! I have a tumblr note where I post a bunch of headcannons and pictures for my fics so check it out if you want, my username is still themutesinger :) hope you enjoy the chapter!

        Freya slips her feet into her boots, the fit looser around her feet and calves because of the thinness of her black tights. She pulls down her purple sweater dress so it lies flat and slips on a black leather jacket. When she opens her door she hears muffled arguing between a deep-voiced male and an irritated sounding woman. Freya smirks, then sneaks down to the second-floor flat, hovering at the top of the stairs. The two arguing are Beorn, Bilbo's tennant, and a dark-haired lady who bears a striking resemblance to Thorin. Despite Beorn's well-muscled appearance and alarming height, the woman, who can only be Dis, Thorin's sister, appears to be anything but intimidated. Her steely blue eyes pierce through Beorn, as if trying to discern all of his weaknesses, her hands rest on well-formed hips, accented by a lovely blue floral-patterned dress over nude tights, her feet tucked into black kitten heels and her dark, silver-streaked hair pulled up into an elegant twist on her head. On the stairs behind her, Fili and Kili look somewhat terrified, whether of their mother or Beorn is yet to be determined. 

" You're not harassing the guests, are you Beorn ?" Freya asks, breaking up the rather entertaining argument. Beorn turns around, startled before bowing his head apologetically.

" No, sorry Little nightingale, I was just making sure they were who they said they were," he replies.

" Well, now that the lady has proven it may we pass up the stairs?" Dis asks, crossing her arms over her stomach.

" Um, of course, Ma'am. You call me if you need anything little nightingale, _anything_." Beorn looks at Fili and Kili, giving them a glare before heading back into his apartment, the door thudding closed loudly.

" Well, he's a pleasant bloke isn't he?" Kili says with a wary grin.

" He's really not that bad, he's just a mite protective of Bilbo and I. He has reason I suppose, but that's not important. Kili, aren't you going to introduce me to your mother?" Kili stutters and blushes at being put on the spot before standing beside his mother. 

" Mum, this is Freya Broadbeam, my girlfriend."

" Dis Durin, a pleasure, I'm sure"

" Oh, the pleasure's all mine Ms.Durin! I've been looking forward to meeting you, figured you'd have to be a marvel to put up with the antics of these two and your brother on a constant basis!" Both Fili and Kili are spluttering now, while Dis just slowly smiles.

" I think I'm going to like you. Now, what is this I hear about my brother answering doors in his pants?" The two ladies converse animatedly as they head up the stairs to Bilbo's apartment, Fili and Kili following warily, sharing concerned glances. Then they arrive at the green door. Freya doesn't knock, she simply walks in like she always does, having been around Bilbo so long. 

" Bilbo, your guests are here!" 

" Oh dear, I'm coming! That is not the proper way to knot a tie Thorin! Confusticate that man..." It is very hard to resist laughing at Bilbo's fussy grumbling, especially when he walks in with his red, vine-patterned waistcoat askew, pulling a grumpy looking Thorin along with him, tie barely knotted properly. He pulls his waistcoat down and puts on a charming smile. " Hello there, it's nice to finally meet you dear!" He says to Dis, taking her hand for a shake. " Freya Broadbeam, what are you wearing on your feet?"

" Shoes Bilbo. It doesn't even matter, no one wears shoes inside their home anyways!"

" That is no excuse for lazy dressing!" Freya simply rolls her eyes then slips out of her boots.

" Do you need any help with dinner?" She asks, as the boys pull Bilbo into a hug.

" No thank you, I have it under control! Terrible sorry for the interruption, Ms. Durin."

" Oh, don't worry dear, it was quite entertaining, have you two known each other for very long?"

" Going on 16 years now! We met when she was six and came to the pub to visit her Uncle who works in the kitchen. I used to babysit her sometimes, and eventually we became best friends, went to business school together, and took over this place. She's like family," Bilbo says, petting Freya's purple-tipped hair fondly. She smiles and allows the contact, before pulling Kili to sit on the couch with her, Fili following as they pick up a conversation about music. 

" I heard you're in a band Freya, " Dis says.

" Yes, I am. ' Half-hipster on a Murderous Rampage', music is my passion, " Freya says.

" And what do you play?"

" Well generally keyboard/synthesizer, but I also play both electric and acoustic guitar, modify voices and I'm the lead singer, I play violin as well, but generally not in the band."

" That's quite impressive, where did you find time to learn all those?"

" I had a lot of spare time as a kid, Bilbo's actually the one who taught me how to play the acoustic, his mum taught me keyboard," Freya says, a wistful smile playing on her lips.

" Uncle Bilbo plays guitar?" Kili asks, his eyes alight with mirth.

" And sings quite well too, actually," Freya adds, despite Bilbo's frantic head-shaking. " We used to do karaoke nights all the time, it was awesome!"

Thorin looks at Bilbo with a raised eyebrow, as if silently asking why he never knew about this. Bilbo responds with a shrug and a glimmer that promises a solo concert sometime in the future. 

" Would you mind playing something for me?" Dis asks. 

" Bilbo won't, but I don't mind at all," Freya replies. " Do you still have that acoustic in the guest room?" Bilbo nods and Freya heads off to grab it. She returns with an oakwood guitar detailed with the burnt on design of an oak tree. She sits in an armchair and fiddles with the tuning nobs until she's satisfied with the sound, then she begins to sing to a jaunty tune.

_Lady, where's your love gone?_

_I was looking, but can't find it anywhere._

_They always offer when there's loads of love around, but when your short of some it's no where to be found._

_Well I know your game, you told him yesterday. No chance, you'll get nothing from me._

_But now she's there, you're there, and everybody's there, and he's in turmoil, as puzzled as can be. Just like me._

_Let's go down, down, low down, where I know I should not go. Oh and she, thinks she's the one but she's just one in twenty-four. And just 'cause everybody's doing it, does that mean that I can to?_

_Lady, where's your love gone? It was the antiseptic to the sore._

_To hold you by the hand, must he first be in demand?_

_How he longs for you to long for him once more, just once more._

_Let's go down, down, low down where I know I should not go. Oh and she thinks she's the one, but she's just one in twenty-four._ _And just 'cause everybody's doing it, does that mean that I can to? Oh._

_Her eyes went down and cut you up._

_There's nothing  like a dirty look from, the one you love, or the one you've lost._

_An ache in your soul, it's everybody's goal, to get what they can't have._

_That's why you're after her, and that's she's after him, but saying it won't change a thing._

_And now realizing it won't change a thing. Realizing it won't change a thing._

The conclusion of the song is met with enthusiastic applause. 

" That was lovely!" Dis exclaims. 

" Thank you very much Ms. Durin"

" Oh none of that, makes me feel old, just call me Dis, you as well Bilbo!" Both of them nod, then Bilbo goes to check the dinner. Thorin seems a bit off, his eyes squinting and posture tense in the way it only is if he's brooding on something. Freya frowns, then goes to sit with him.

" Is something wrong Thorin?" She asks quietly. He starts to shake her off then his shoulders slump.

" Bilbo still hasn't told me about Smaug, he's been saying he would for weeks now, but it hasn't happened."

" Oh. He doesn't really too about it much at all, it was a painful experience. Smaug swept in while Bilbo was still grieving for his parents, being perfectly charming, getting Bilbo to trust him, taking advantage of his pain and loneliness, then he tried to take Bag End and Bilbo's whole world came crashing down around him. Suddenly he was in court fighting for his home with someone he thought loved him. Since then he's been much more guarded, keeping his secrets to himself. It's why I'm so glad he found you, he hasn't been so happy as he has been with you in a long time." 

" I'm a prick for trying to force him to talk about it, aren't I?"

" Oh no! Of course not Thorin! You were just being a concerned boyfriend, there's nothing wrong with wanting to know more about your partner, he's just sensitive is all."

" I know. I just love him so much. I've never been able to be myself with anyone like I have with him. Which is why I got this," Thorin says, slipping a blue velvet box out of his pocket. He opens it to reveal a beautiful ring, sterling silver with a thin line of little tanzanites and london blue topaz set into the centre. 

" Oh, Thorin! It's gorgeous, he'll love it!" 

" Who will love what?" Kili says, looking over at them suspiciously. Dis looks at Thorin's hands and smirks knowingly.

" So that's how it is brother, never thought you'd actually do it," she says, winking at her brother's patented glare. 

" That's how what is?" Kili exclaims, confused.

" I'll tell you later darling," Freya says, patting his knee. Fili brightens and says "Oh!" and pats his Uncle's shoulder in congratulations. Kili grumbles about being the only one who doesn't understand until Freya gives him a silencing kiss. 

" Dinner's ready!" Bilbo calls from the kitchen. The boys and Dis openly gawk at the amount of food laid out on the table, but Thorin and Freya tuck in immediately, knowing all about Bilbo and his eating habits. Sure enough, Bilbo eats enough to feed several small children , with Fili and Kili close behind. Everything is delicious as Bilbo's cooking always is, and just when everyone thinks they will burst if they eat anymore, Bilbo brings out several deserts, including mini aple pies that look like roses, and a chocolate cheesecake with fresh strawberries andwhite chocolate sauce. 

" Freya made the deserts, I'm afraid I'm hopless with anything non-savoury that isn't pancakes," Bilbo says while taking a pie and a hefty slice of cheesecake.

" It's true, Bilbo took more to his father's dinner recipes then his mother's baking, so she took me as her apprentice. My fathers were definitely appreciative, although they complained about the weight gain," Freya says.

Later, after desert, Kili asks if they could go downstairs for the open Mic.

" Of course! Planning on singing Ki?" Bilbo asks.

" Oh no, I'm rubbish at singing, but Fi and I brought our Fiddles, is that okay?"

" More then okay!" Freya chimes in. " 'Sides my Pop will be popping in for his Saturday pie soon, and I've never missed a Saturday yet!"

That decided, they all slipped downstairs and met Ori at the bar, introducing him to Dis and Thorin. When Bofur came in they introduced themselves to him as well and it wasn't long before Bofur had them all in stitches laughing. When they Mic was opened, Fili and Kili jumped up, grabbing their fiddles and practically running to the stage. They start up a slow melody that progresses quickly and soon Bofur grabs his daughter, dumps his hat on her head and pulls her into a dance in a clear area. This eventually turns into Bofur joining with his flute and then Freya singing Irish drinking songs to flute and fiddle, and Kili grabbing Bilbo and forcing him to dance, despite his spluttered protests. The whole pub is alight with song and laughter, the customers joining the revelry and a true party beginning. But the overlaying feeling running through Durin and Broadbeam alike is that this is their Family and there's nothing they would change about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter is "No Buses" by the Arctic Monkeys, a band I have a particular fondness for, cuz they're awesome!


	7. The Joker's Thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freya brings two of her favourite Durins to 'Stealing Rivers' the nightclub her uncles and Da own, and ends up roped into a performance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day! :O Awesomeness! I actually started writing this chapter in my head before I finished the last one, which was somewhat counterproductive, but at the same time... Two updates!

       When Bilbo told Thorin to just go straight to his room when he came over, he expected to find his boyfriend waiting to have sex with him. He did not expect the piles of corsets, mini-skirts, and tight dresses surrounding his patchy house-coated boyfriend on the bed.

" Should I be worried?" He says, gingerly moving around some shoes to kiss a beaming Bilbo. 

" Of course not my daft man," Bilbo replies.

" Oh, hello Thorin love!" Freya calls from the en suite bathroom. " How are you dear?"

" Slightly confused, but fairly good otherwise!" Thorin responds.

" Sorry about the mess, Bilbo's helping me choose an outfit."

" And you had to bring your entire closet to his room?"

" This isn't her entire closet, she has a lot more clothing then this," Bilbo says teasingly.

" You're one to talk Mr. One-closet-full-of-only-waistcoats!" Bilbo sputters indignantly at this, and Thorin laughs then kisses the top of his curls. " Bo, do you mind helping me lace this up?"

" Of course not darling!" He says, kissing Thorin's nose before he leaves.

Bilbo tightens the laces accordingly, then looks her over, nodding his approval.

" Lovely as always Dearest!" He proclaims.

" Thanks Bo! Now let's see you!" 

Bilbo opens his housecoat to reveal a baby blue lacey corset, tight, but breathable and matching baby blue lace panties with a bow resting at the top of each thigh. 

" If we weren't in a completely platonic relationship I'd ravish you," she says winking. Bilbo rolls his eyes at her and punches her shoulder lightly as he does up his housecoat again. " He's going to love it Bo."

With a finally adjustment to thick brown curls and the application of dark red lipstick, Freya finally determines herself done and leaves the bathroom. 

" What d'you think Thorin?" She asks when she enters the bedroom. Thorin looks up then blinks rapidly. Freya is dressed in skin tight black leather pants, lace up ankle booties with spikes on the heel and a cutout at the ankle, and a black leather corset patterned in gold oriental designs, with a loosely laced front that is shorter than most corsets, revealing a strip of tanned skin. 

" Uh, great? Where exactly are you going dressed like that?" He asks, his protective Uncle instincts kicking in.

" Clubbing with Kili and Fili!" She replies. 

" What? Where?" Freya raises an eyebrow at this.

" My Da owns a nightclub and runs it with my Uncles, Dori and Ori, don't worry, it's completely safe," she says and Thorin calms down a bit.

" Okay, just be careful, all right?"

" Of course! Now, you have fun with Bo, I think he's got something special in mind for you," she says, ducking out when Bilbo throws a shoe after her.

                             .~~~~~~~~.

        Kili had never been to a nightclub before and so was somewhat lost on what to wear. In the end he just threw on dark wash jeans, a dark blue rugby sweater with a Nirvana® tank top underneath and some Doc Martins®. Fili went with dark blue jeans and light blue polo shirt with dark brown combat boots. He got his mom to lend him the Mustang again and they went to pick up Freya at Bag End. When she stepped outside he was stunned speechless, eyes drawn everywhere from her dark red lips to the swathe of visable skin abover her waistband, to the cleavage revealed behind the laces of her corset and down to the spikes on her heels. 

" You look delicious," he blurts out and Fili starts to shake with laughter behind him. " I mean beautiful!"

" It's alright Kili-cake, you're looking rather edible yourself," she says, eyes twinkling, as she gets into the passenger seat, forcing Fili into the back. They arrive at the club ten minutes later, the glowing blue sign making the sidewalk look like river water. The bouncer is an intimidating looking man with large muscles, but extremely well-kept appearance not a silvery hair out of place on his head or chin. 

" Uncle Dori! I didn't know you were on duty tonight," Freya exclaims, running up to hug the man. 

" Well if it isn't my favourite niece! What on earth are you wearing girl? Where's your coat, you'll catch your death of a cold!"

" I'm fine Uncle Dori! I always dress up when I come to the club anyways."

" Yes, but you should cover yourself up, you never know what kind of unsavory types are about!" Dori glares at Fili and Kili as he says this, the muscles in his arms flexing.

" I'll be alright, besides I got myself two bodyguards tonight! This is my boyfriend Kili and his brother Fili, their Thorin's nephews," Freya says, pointing at them.

" Yes, well they better take good care of you or they might find something of theirs missing after they wake up in the hospital." Fili and Kili pale considerably after this, sprinting past Dori when he lets them in. Freya rolls her eyes and gives Dori one last hug before she slips inside.  

       ' Stealing Rivers' is one of the classier clubs in London, very clean and held to high standards. The blue lighting and glittering reflective panels make the walls and dance floor look like a rushing river, there are tables set up along walls and on the private balcony, made to look like river sediment with a bar spanning a reflective wall. The bar counter is made of sedimentary rock and recycled glass, with the stools made of steel and plush blue velvet. Behind the bar is Ori, the head barkeep at 'Stealing Rivers'. On a stage made steel and glass is the Dj, the word "Strider" written across his stand. The club is already decently full, the music is loud and seems to pump it's way through your bones. 

" Do you want ta dance first or get a drink?" Freya yells above the noise.

" Let's dance," Kili says, winking at her and pulling her onto the dance floor. Fili rolls his eyes and goes off to find someone to dance with.  After an hour of dancing to popular music that Freya secretly abhors, they pull themselves off the dance floor to get a drink, Ori greeting them enthusiastically. Just as they're about to go back to dancing a voice calls out from the Dj booth.

" Well, well, well, if it isn't our favourite local rock star! How ya doing Freya?"

" Pretty Good Strider, nice to see you!" She calls back, pulling on Kili's arm, trying to slip away quickly.

" And where d'ya think you're going without a song?"

" You know I don't do club music Strider!"

" That's fine!" Strider replies, then starts the crowd off chanting her name. She sighs deeply then kisses Kili, stating that she'll be right back. Once on stage she's handed an electric guitar and then strums up a fast-paced tune with a rather long intro, strider taking up the rest of the instruments with  an instrumental track once he recognizes the song.

_I said the joker is a wanted man. He makes his way all across the land. You see him sifting, through the sand. So I'll tell you all the story about the joker and the thief in the night._

_He's always laughing in the midst of power. Are we living in the final hour. There's always sweet and sour. So we are not going home._

_Can you see the joker flying over, as she's standing in the field of clover. Watching out everyday, I wonder what would happen if he took her away._

_What you see, well you might not know. You get the feelin' comin' after in the glow. The Vagabond is movin' slow. So I'll tell you all the story about the joker and the thief in the night._

_All the people that you see in the night, hold their dreams up to the light. The wilderbeast is searching for sight, and we are not going home._

_Can you see the joker flying over, as shes standing in the field of clover. Watching out everyday, I wonder what would happen if he took her away._

_I said the joker is a wanted man, he makes his way all across the land. See him sifting through the sand. So I'll tell you all the story 'bout the joker and the thief._

_I said I'll tell you all the story 'bout the joker and the thief._

_I said I'll tell you all the story of the joker and the thief in the night._

 The song is met with applause and demands for an encore. Then a thin-faced man with a three stranded red-brown Mohawk steps on the stage, putting an arm tightly around Freya's shoulders. She smiles and kisses his cheek. " I think we've monopolized my daughter enough, let 'er get back to her friends," he says, smirking dangerously. Freya hops off the stage, her father's arm still around her shoulders. She drags him over to where she left Kili, noticing that Fili and some brown-haired man have joined him.

" That was great Freya!" Kili exclaims as she reaches them.

" Thanks love! Anyways, Da, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Kili, his brother Fili, and I have no idea who you are."

" Faramir!" The man pipes up, leaning against Fili slightly. Nori nods at him, then shakes Fili and Kili's hands. 

" You're Bo's new nephews ain'cha?" They both nod.

" It's nice to meet you sir," Kili says, glancing at Nori's shark-like grin nervously. 

" How abou' you and I go for a walk? Hmm. Get to know each other."

" Uh, alright sir," Kili replies, shuffling off with him nervously even though the man throws a companionable arm around his shoulders.

" Alright lad, I'm not gonna tell ya to stay away from my little girl because My Bofur says you're a good lad. I'm just gonna give you a wee bit of advice. My daughter's been hurt in the past and I'm quite protective of her. I'm also a former intelligence agent and survived my fair share of messy situations and I'm very good at getting information from people in less then savoury ways, so ye'd best be watching yerself, got it?" Nori says, the arm on Kili's shoulder bordering on painful. 

" Yes sir!" Kili squeaks, nodding frantically.

" Good lad," Nori says, with a somewhat patronizing head pat. " Go enjoy yourself now lad." 

" Yes sir!"

" But not too much!"

" Of course sir!" Nori shakes his head and laughs quietly as he watches the lad run away.

        Kili runs back to the others as fast as he can without embarrassing himself, then demands a shot of vodka from Ori.

" Told you about his service days didn't he?" Ori asks. Kili downs the shot and nods.

" Is he always that terrifying?" Faramir asks.

" Nah, he's actually a huge softie at his centre, he's just being protective is all. And like my Pop, he's a mite bit dramatic. They're perfect together I swear," Freya says, Ori nodding in agreement. Afterwards the four head out to dance for another hour or so before heading home, Fili managing to snag Faramir's phone number. When Freya gets back to Bag End she knocks at Bilbo's door. He answers in his housecoat and fuzzy slippers, hair tousled and happy. 

" I take it you had a pleasant evening?" Freya said, an eyebrow raised.

" Oh, sod off. It was marvelous, yes. How was yours?"

" Great! But between Dori and Da I'm surprised Kili survived!"

" Poor lad. Well, good night darling."

" Night Bo, oh and tell Thorin I got back okay!"

" I will dear!"

Freya leaves, going down to her own apartment and Bilbo shuffles back to bed, poking Thorin so that he moves over.

" Was tha' Freya?" Thorin mumbles into his pillow.

" Yes daft man, it was, she wanted to let us know she got home alright, and if we enjoyed her present."

" Tha's good. It was a nice present. Sleep now?"

" Good night Thorin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother which is the song I find describes the Broadbeam's three person family. Also, protective Thorin is the cutest thing, almost as cute as awkward Thorin! Also I know I had Fili be attracted to Freya in the first chapter and him being with a man seems sudden, but I like headcannoning Fili as bisexual in my modern AUs. Also, why Faramir? Not particularly sure why, but now that it happened I find it cute! I generally find the people in this fandom open about random ships so I hope it goes over well. What are your guys' thoughts on Fili/Faramir? Should I make it a minor flirtation or full on relationship?


	8. Just Breathe and Never Have Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's wee nephew Frodo is staying with him for a week while his parents go on their annual boating trip, and Freya and Kili get charged to babysit while Thorin takes Bilbo to a special dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I'm hoping to update this fic as much as possible and get it finished soon so I can focus on other projects, cuz I have a lot of ideas in my Fan fiction journal... Anyways enjoy the cutenss that is baby Frodo!

          Freya would never dream of begrudging Thorin his chance to propose, honest, but why did he have to do it when Bilbo had a hyperactive two-and-a-half-year-old running around Bag End. 

" No Frodo! Don't touch that!" She cries, taking the adorable child's drool-covered hands away from Bilbo's CD rack. Frodo merelly giggles at her and reaches out to pull a CD case from the lower half of the stack. Freya sighs, then swings him up into her arms, spinning him until he giggles. She drops a kiss on one chubby cheek, then goes to the kitchen to grab him a snack. 

" Are you hungry Frodo-bird?" She asks, pulling out her homemade organic applesauce. 

" Mmmm, yum!" Frodo coos, grabbing for it. Freya chuckles and slides him into his high chair, then gives him a little bowl and baby spoon. As she fixes a bib around his neck she hears a knock on the door. 

" Come in!" She calls.

" Freya? I tried your door, but then Mr.Beorn said you were in the 'little bunny's' apartment so I came up here!"

" Kili-cake!" Freya heads to the door and gives her boyfriend a kiss and hug, then takes his coat. " I'm sorry I had to cancel our plans, but it was important."

" It's alright love, I'm just glad I actually know what Thorin's planning now."

" He's such a silly man. Oh! Come meet Frodo!"

" Frodo?" Kili says, brow furrowing. Freya drags him into the kitchen where Frodo sits in his high chair, eating applesauce happily, some dripping down his chin. Freya tuts and wipes at the spot with the bib, then pinches his cheek. Frodo looks up and is surprised to see another big person, pointing at Kili and looking at Freya to explain.

" Frodo-bird, this is Kili," she says, and Frodo nods, then waves.

" He looks like Bilbo and Thorin's love-child," Kili says, waving back at the boy, then flinching as Freya slaps his arm. 

" You're an odd one, Kili Durin. And he's only their nephew." 

" Oh, so he's my little Baggins cousin then!" Kili then goes to stand closer to Frodo and reaches to hold his hand. Frodo ducks his head shyly, but curls his tiny fingers around two of Kili's. " Hello, little one!"

" Hello," Frodo replies, then giggles.

" Can you say Kili?"

" Keelee!" Kili laughs excitedly and kisses the top of Frodo's black curly hair. 

" You two are just precious," Freya says from the counter where she appears to be chopping chicken for a lunch salad. 

" Why?" Frodo asks.

" Because you're cute!" 

" Okay! Bathroom please?"

" Of course little one, Kili dear, can you wash the lettuce?" 

" Sure thing love!" Freya smiles and kisses Kili's cheek then takes Frodo out of his high chair, wiping him off with the bib, then takes him to the washroom.  When they get back  Frodo tries to run to Kili, then trips. Kili immediately crouches and picks him up.

" Are you okay Frodo?"

" Mhm! Wanna play?" 

" Sure! What shall we play?"

" Blocks!" Frodo exclaims, pointing to a bag of giant megablocks on a soft foam playmat. Kili grins enthusiastically and takes Frodo over to the mat to play, Frodo immediately giving him directions on how their "tower" should look.  A half-hour later, Freya declares lunch finished; a chicken Cesar salad for her and Kili and hotdogs cut into pieces for Frodo. 

         After lunch is naptime, which Frodo astutely refuses to go down for. After trying everything, including warming milk, Freya sits him down and rocks him and begins to sing.

_Yes I understand, that every life must end, oh, ho. As we sit alone, I know someday we must go on._

_Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands, the ones I love. Some folks just have one, yeah others they got none, oh ho. Stay with me, oh, let's just breathe._

_Practice summer sins, never gonna let me win, oh ho.  Under everything, just another human being, oh ho. Yeah, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world to make me bleed. Stay with me, oh all I see._

_Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? Oh if I didn't I'm a fool, you see, no one knows this more then me. Cuz I come clean._

_I wonder everyday, as I look upon your face, oh ho, everything you gave and nothing you would take, oh ho. Nothing you would take, everything you gave._

_Did I say that I need you? Oh, do I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool, you see, no one knows this more then me. And I come clean, I. Mmmm..._

_Nothing you would take, everything you gave, oh hold me til I die, meet you on the other side._

When she finishes, Frodo has fallen asleep, shuffling softly in her arms. A muffled snore from the couch has Freya noticing a sleeping Kili, his face under a pillow. She lies Frodo down with Kili, surrounding him with a wall of protective throw pillows. She then slips on her boots and heads downstairs, pausing only briefly to tug down her knitted sweater and under shirt which had ridden up. She yawns as she heads up to the bar. 

" Can I get an espresso please Uncle Ori? Lots of sugar!" 

" Little one's run you ragged already has he?"  Ori asks, starting up the espresso machine. 

" He touches everything! And always asks why! But mostly I'm just suffering the after affects of sleepy time cuddles." Ori hands her an espresso with a grin and pats her head. 

" Is your boyfriend coming over to help?"

" Already up there, sleeping away with Frodo on the couch, I had to get pictures it was just too adorable!" Freya takes out her phone and shows it to Ori. As she's leaning over the bar she notices a large bald man beside her, looking somewhat miffed. 

" Oh, I'm sorry, were you two talking?" Freya asks, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. 

" S' alright lass, I'm not going to get in the way of family. Didn't know that Dori had a kid though," the man says.

" He doesn't, " Freya says. " How do you know Uncle Dori?"

" He used ta work with me on the force. Does tha' mean tha' some poor woman had a kid with Nori Rivers?"

" I'm adopted if you must know and my Da is a wonderful father, and my Pop adores him. Also, if you want to woo Uncle Ori, insulting his brother is not the right way to go about it."

The man sputters at the last bit, looking suitably embarrassed. He takes a swig of his drink, then offers a hand. 

" Ahm sorry for being so rude and saying such things abou' yer Da. It's just when I knew him he was in and ou' of juvie, then had a brief stint in jail is all. As fer the wooing bit, sorry for any insult paid Ori," he says. Freya takes his hand and pats his arm. 

" Much better, now may I get your name?" Freya asks.

" Dwalin Fundinson, Miss Rivers," he replies.

" It's Broadbeam actually," Ori pipes up, " Nori took his husbands last name."

" So your Pop is one of the guys from the toy store? The one who doesnae talk or the happy one with the hat?"

" The hat, and Uncle Bifur doesn't mean to be unsociable, he just had an accident that rendered him unable to speak properly, " Freya responds. Just then a sleepy Kili shuffles up to them, with Frodo in his arms, hiding his head in Kili's neck. 

" Uncle Dwalin? What're you doin' here?" He asks, then takes a seat beside Freya, resting his head on her shoulder. 

" Uncle? I didn't know Thorin had a brother?" Ori says.

" No, I'm actually a distant cousin, but ahm close friends with both Thorin and Dis. Well, technically he does have a brother, Frerin, but he's off in France doin' some art crap or somethin' " Dwalin replies. " And I'm just here to get a drink before work Kili, ahm on afternoon shift again." 

" Well, it's certainly nice to meet more of Kili's family," Freya says with a smile. 

" He's yer boyfriend!?!" Dwalin asks, shocked. 

" Yeah, I met him a month or so ago, when Thorin brough the lads over to have dinner with Bilbo, who happens to be my business partner and best friend. We co-own this place and live upstairs." 

" I see, now, who's the wee bairn?" 

" Frodo Baggins, Bilbo's nephew," Kili says, looking down at the still- sleeping child. 

" He's a cute wee thing," Dwalin says, running a hand over soft curls.  " Where's Bilbo then?"

" Out with Thorin, they're going to the museum then out for a fancy dinner, and then Thorin will hopefully pluck up his gumption and ask Bilbo to marry him!"

" I didnae even know he bought a ring!" 

" Yes, well he's only really shown me and Dis so don't be too offended," Freya says with a smile. 

" 'Sides Uncle Thorin might still chicken out!" Kili adds cheerfully.

" Anything else to drink?" Ori asks. Freya shakes her head, as does Kili.

" Nothin' for me either. I haveta be goin' now anyway," Dwalin says.

" Alright, one more thing before you go!" Ori says, and quickly scribbles on a napkin, tucking it in Dwalin's coat pocket. " Give me a call sometime." Dwalin flushes and nods, then sticks his hands in his pocket and leaves. 

" Well, I should start dinner, it has to marinate for an hour before it can cook, " Freya says. " Thanks again for covering for me Uncle Ori!"

" It's no problem dear."

" And I'm sure Uncle Dwalin won't take too long to call," Kili says, winking at Ori cheekily. Freya rolls her eyes, gives her Uncle a hug and proceeds to drag Kili up stairs. 

                             .~~~~~~~~.

" So, what's for dinner?" Kili asks.

" Pork tenderloin marinated in soy sauce, lemon juice, black pepper, cumin, and finely chopped garlic with garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli in a parmesan sauce." 

" Frodo is gonna eat that?" Kili asks incredulously.

" He likes his pork in small pieces and adores mashed potatoes, he just won't be eating the broccoli in cheese sauce!" 

" Oh, okay!" Freya takes out a thin knife and two pieces of tenderloin and begins stripping off the outer fat. When that's finished she sets it in a glass baking dish, and adds two tablespoons of soy sauce and two if lemon juice and rubs the juices into the meat. Then she rubs in the pepper and cumin. She washes her hands and takes out a large kitchen knife and a cutting board, setting three cloves if garlic and quickly dicing them and adding them to the pork, rubbing them in on both sides, then washes her hands again, covers the dish in foil and pops it in the fridge.

" There we are! Now to soak the broccoli!" She takes out a bunch of broccoli and breaks it up, then puts it in a large dish full of water. " All done!" 

       A yawn and  small grunting noises alert them to Frodo's awakening. 

" Did you have a nice nap Frodo-bird?" 

" Mhm, is Keelee still here?"

" Right here little one!" Frodo smiles and launches himself at Kili's legs for a hug. Kili wobbles temporarily, then kneels so he can give him a proper hug. " You wanna play again?"

" Yeah! Play cars!" Frodo toddlers over to his mat and grabs a bucket of little metal cars and dumps them out. Freya and Kili get on the mat to play as Frodo points to each car and tells them the colour. Eventually Freya has to get up to make dinner which takes another hour. When she returns Kili is helping Frodo count his cars, giving him a kiss on the forehead when he gets it right.

" Ready for dinner you two?"

" Yes Frey!" Frodo says and holds his hands out to be picked up. Dinner is delicious and filling and after another hour of playtime and vanilla yougurt for dessert, Frodo is ready for his bath and bed. Freya bathes him while Kili sits on the toilet with the cover down. Frodo has fun, making shapes with his bubbles and squeezing water out of Quackers his very realistic looking rubber duck. Once he's dried and dressed in teddy bear pjs he asks for a story. 

" I have a good one!" Kili says, grinning wildly.

" Yay! Keelee story!" Frodo squeels, clutching a fluffy stuffed rabbit ( Whose name may or may not be Thorin II and given to Frodo by a certain King of the Scowls) in his arms. 

 " Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She had long dark hair and the most wonderful singing voice in all the land. It was said that every creature would stop whatever they were doing just to hear her sing. It was this that made the princess determined to be useful and she used her gift only in great need. Once she stopped a whole goblin army with a love ballad and another time she saved the town crier from a raging bull with a tavern song. Now, this princess was desired by many nobleman and princes, but the princess just didn't want to marry."

"Why?" Frodo asks.

" Because she wanted to be free and able to protect her people, not stuck in some Prince's castle raising children. She was convinced she couldn't have both and no suitors proved her wrong. One day the princess-in disguise- met a lowly archer who was sweet and kind. This archer said that if he were to marry a princess like ours he would watch the children while she went to protect the land, which no suitor had ever offered the princess before. The princess removed her disguise and said that she was moved by his words and would very much like to enter courtship with the archer and after two years of courtship the archer and the princess were married and lived happily ever after, the end." Frodo claps, then cuddles into Kili's side.

" Those characters seemed awfully familiar," Freya says, an eyebrow quirked.

" I have no idea what you're talking about." Kili lays his head on a pillow and wraps an arm around Frodo, Freya doing the same and linking their hands. Freya merely smiles and cuddles into Frodo's curls. 

                             .~~~~~~~.

         Bilbo looks down at the three figures cuddled together on his bed fondly. He takes a quilt from the closet and lays it gently over them, then turns off the light, a ring glittering on his finger. He finds Thorin drinking a glass of water in the kitchen and goes to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and nuzzling his chest. " It looks like we'll have to share the guest bedroom tonight darling."

" Did you take a picture?"

" Oh no! I forgot, I'll do it on our way in to bed." Two glasses of water later finds Bilbo sneaking a picture on his phone, then going down the hall to snuggle with his fiancee in the guest bedroom.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Just Breathe by Pearl Jam and it's got a nice soothing melody, perfect for helping little ones sleep :) Frodo calls Freya 'Frey' instead of her full name. Also the pork recipe I used is something I actually make and it takes awesome with parmesan/garlic mashed potatoes, just saying :)


	9. Well, Maybe I'm in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili comes over to Freya's apartment for dinner, and ends up getting more then he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, major character development in this one! Also where some of the warnings i.e. abusive relationship come into play, just letting you guys know! Of course, there's still a healthy dose of fluff and such to balance it out :) enjoy!

       Despite dating for over a month, Kili still hadn't been in his girlfriend's apartment. The purple front door and gothic Dragon door knocker don't actually give any indication as to what's actually in the apartment. The place was well lit but fairly modern and plain, consisting of mostly greys and whites with the occasional splash of dulled blues and greens. It was still a lovely apartment, excellently decorated with a bit of rock star in the light fixtures dangling from spiraling wire, but didn't seem to fit Freya's vibrance much at all.

" Kili!" Freya exclaims, slipping out of a room down the hall. Her blue oriental corset looks gorgeous on her, the black lace trim standing out against pale skin, and the white dragons adding a customary hint of Freya flair. Blue skinny jeans are tucked into slippers designed to look like those ugly women's winter boots, these grey and white patterned. She pulls him into a tight hug and soundly kisses him on the mouth. " Hello darling. I've got dinner in the fridge currently, marinating and all. Just need to chop the vegetables."

" Hello love. Need any help?"

" Nah, just some conversation. You don't mind if I pop my Mp3 on do you?"

" Course not!" Freya grins at him and flicks her player on, setting it to shuffle and clicks play. She takes out her utensils to the start of Rebel, Rebel by David Bowie, swaying lightly as she continues to collect ingredients. " So how have you been love?"

" Good, school's been tougher lately, getting close to exam time."

" Thats too bad, can't say I miss that about school, even though I was only there for a couple years."

" Yeah, its not the best but it's got to be done."

" You never did tell me what you're taking."

" Business, wasn't sure what I wanted to do and it seemed good enough."

" I see. I took business because I had to be able to run a band, and later to help Bo with the pub." The song changes, something bubbly and happy-sounding. Freya turns to Kili with a smirk and starts to sing along.

" So she said what's the problem baby? What's the problem, I don't know, well maybe I'm in love (love) think about, every time I think about it, can't stop thinking bout it. How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it cuz I can't ignore it if it's love ( love) makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing bout love, oh." She turns at this, tossing chopped peppers into a wok, then starts chopping broccoli, and mushrooms, her hips swaying with the music. Kili smiles and rolls his eyes at her antics. " Come on, come on, turn a little faster. Come on, come on, the world will follow after. Come on, come on, cuz everybody's after love." She adds the broccoli and mushrooms, winking at her boyfriend, then moves onto garlic and jarred ginger. " So I said I'm a snowball running, running down into this spring that's coming all this love (love) melting under blue skies, belting out sunlight shimmering love, oh." She turns again, holding a wooden spoon like a microphone and dances around Kili. "Well baby I surrender to the strawberry ice cream, never ever end of all this love. Well I didn't mean to do it, but there's no escaping your love, oh. These lines of lightening mean , we're never alone, never alone. No, no." She grabs the meat from the fridge and emptys the steaming vegetables into a large bowl before cooking the meat in the wok. " Come on, come on, move a little closer. Come on, come on, I wanna hear you whisper. Come on, come on, settle down inside my love." She adds the veggies again and starts flicking the wok to thoroughly mix them up. " Come on, come on, jump a little higher. Come on, come on, if you feel a lighter lighter. Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in Love." She turns the stove off and takes Kili's hands, urging her to dance with him as she softly sings " We're accidentally in love." seven times before the tune kicks up again, and they dance on the balls of their feet as the band sings through the radio. When the tune slows a bit Freya begins to sing again, " Come on, come on, spin a little tighter. Come on, come on, and the world's a little brighter. Come on, come on and get yourself inside her love... I'm in Love." They kiss as the song ends and smile as Beethoven takes its place. " I have the strangest collection of music known to man," Freya says, taking plates out for the stir-fry. 

" Yes you do love, but I'm not going to complain," Kili replies, taking out glasses for drinks after a bit of searching. 

They settle down for dinner and get to talking, everything from how Kili almost lost a finger in a BMX accident to how Freya and Bilbo used to work as models. 

" Uncle Bilbo was actually a model?" Kili exclaims doubtfully.

" Yeah, we were working through college at the time, and I needed money to fund the band and get a music studio put into my apartment." 

" What kind of modelling did you do?"

" Well, Gandalf mostly had us in advertisments and such things, although we did the occasional catwalk or tv special. I wasn't allowed to model underwear until I was 19 though, had to convince my Da. " 

" Wow, that sounds awesome! Did you stop when Bilbo had to take over Bag End?"

" Um, no, it was a little while before then." Freya replies, her face pale.

" What happened love?"

" Well, Bilbo got a stalker, absolutely obsessed, and I, well, I was raped by my boyfriend." Kili inhales sharply and goes to wrap his arms around his girlfriend. " It's alright now I suppose. Smeagol is in an asylum and my ex is in jail and has a restraining order against him, so they can't hurt us anymore, it's just painful to think about." Kili kisses the top of her head.

" I understand love. I'm glad you told me." Freya smiles at him thankfully and leaves the subject there, instead taking him to see her music studio, with all of her instruments, which Kili definitely finds more to his girlfriend's taste. She also shows him a remarkable blue bathroom, with tiled walls and a fancy showerhead. Freya's bedroom is much more her, a mural of the Beatles on one wall, exposed brick, purple couch, cool light fixtures and a headboard done in graphics. Her bathroom seems to match the door, purple with medieval elements, and touches of gold and cream. Back in the bedroom, they sit and talk about wedding plans and Freya's ideas for Bilbo's bachelor party until it gets late. Freya asks Kili to stay, and who would he be to refuse? Their love-making is unrushed and unplanned, but sweet and gentle and perfect all the same. 

                             . ~~~~~~~~.

When Bilbo knocked at Freya's door the next morning (always a proper little man) he was not expecting to see Kili in naught but his pants. That did not however stop him from clutching his stomach in laughter.

" It seems like you and your Uncle have a lot in common Kili my lad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters song is Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows. So cute!!!!!


End file.
